Can I go check the pool’s fever to see if it’s warm enough to swim?
Zoe

I try not to poop. It’s weird.
Zoe

Y’all have something in comet. Like you both come from different Space Mountain.
Zoe

Did you vote for Allah Bama’s husband?
Zoe
I’m not sure if she said ‘Allah Bama,’ or ‘Alabama’ in a hilarious accent…  

Zoe: I'm going to read this book and write it on my computer.
Me: Why?
Zoe: So I can give it to the library.
Me: ...Why?
Zoe: Because I want people to read my work.
Me: ...

If there’s a mirror behind me when Zoe is talking to me, she will stare at her reflection the entire time, with a tiny little smile creeping across her face. I don’t know what to do with this child.


*spills milk on self* “Oh… NO! I can’t feel my legs!!
Zoe

Yo, yo, yo! Rockin’ in the socks! …It’s a… cool nickname… I got for you…” *walks away*
Zoe

I had three Cokes! My stomach was upset, but at least I didn’t get drunk.
Zoe

There’s a couple food.
Zoe